HOW MUCH HONESTY IS SAFE ON LINE?

Honesty. Yes. It's the basis of American and Christian society. We blame those we dislike for being dishonest.
Let's look at this closer.

NEVER TELL A LIE?

a1) SAINTS. HONESTY IS MY VIRTUE. LOVE THE WORLD.American Christian. George Washington. Politician. Son. Learned from parents. To be trusted.They are so straightforward that you instinctively respond. You know they won't judge you for being the wrong age, religion, or anything else. They say who they are. Without thinking about it, you immediately say who you are. They give you their home phone number, work phone, website and show you identity when they meet you to reassure you that you can trust them.
The opposite end of the spectrum is:

a2) JUDGERS
He works as a headmaster, teacher, psychoanalyst, judge, policeman, voluntary worker in a hospital or prison, or a magistrate. He is used to demanding the truth from other but is never obliged, for security reasons, to give out his own personal details.

You have a hard job convincing him that you, too, have to consider your security and not just give out your personal details to a stranger who won't give out his.

He should not be trying to persuade you to do so on a first date. Unless he has a second date, you don't know that he has serious intentions. If he doesn't, no need to give out information.

Not only that, he should not be programming a woman to give out information. If she tells him her details and gets into his car on the first date, and all goes well, she will be more inclined to do so with her next encounter. Next time if she's not so lucky ...

Extreme type of caution for others:I've had people get irate because I gave them a phone number, and give me warnings.

They have said, 'How can you be so careless? Never mind that you trust me. You should not trust anybody! I shall destroy it immediately. You have no sense of security! I can't trust you with my details. You're not safe to meet!'

b) ESCAPEES. LYING IS MY PROTECTION
Romany tradtion is just one example - always tell lies. To strangers. In the culture. For self-protection. (Read Bury Me Standing.)

Evasive. Never live in one place. Don't want to be caught.
Eternal students. Multiple spouses. Remember the song: 'All my exes live in Texas, that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee?

They don't just have on on-line nickname. They have three or more names for their different jobs, on assorted business cards with different names and addresses, most of which are their cousins and places where they don't live any more. Loads of funny stories about how ex-wives and landlords came round at night and how they got out of the back window. Don't call them because they are about to move on.

c) INTERROGATORS. TELL ME OR ELSE!
They expect others to be honest immediately on line. Demand to know your real age and birth date. I rate these as controlling types.

Some want to know all about you whilst telling nothing about themselves.

Others are garrulous, incautious, careless, indiscreet - tell you more about their sex life with their spouse, their finances, their health, the other women they are talking about, names of every person they've met in 50 years, far more than you need to know.

Sneaky stalkers:
Their Question: Tell me your birth date because I need to know your zodiac sign to know whether we are compatible.
My answer: I already know we are not compatible.

d) GENTLEMEN. They say, 'YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME ...'
Polite subtle detectives. They get clues as to your age from the age of your children, what you remember, your tastes in music.

Generally kind and discreet. Learn as much as they need to know. Don't tell much. Don't ask much. But you feel they are reliable.

e) TIMID HIDERS
Never want to reveal anything. Too scared. Don't want to hear your details. Might expose you. Or them. Supposing they got asked about you! Could land them in trouble.

You might demand reciprocation. Best not.

f) SNAILS
They say: 'Okay, today, I'll tell you my first name. Tomorrow I'll tell you my phone number. The next day I'll tell you what I do for a living. The day after that ... In a year's time, when we really trust each other, we might meet.

(They are ever so surprised to learn that after a month of this going nowhere stuff, you've got tired of watching TV and went out and dated somebody else - and actually told them in the hope that it would jolt them into some action.)

Which types have you met?
Have any of your phone calls or dates had nasty moments because you said too much or too little? How would you advise others?

Did the other person lie? Show the wrong photo? What was their excuse? Was it inexcusable?

Did you do anything to conceal your identity? Do you feel you were justified?