Positive Attitude Pays

I like people who are positive. Happy. Fun to be with. I'm looking for somebody who gets on well with anybody and everybody. Determined to have a happy evening. Planning little surprises. Even if we don't like each other, it will be a memorable evening. Liking somebody is not just looks. Nor money. Nor morals. Nor having a job. Nor even being moral and of unblemished character. Plenty of horrid people get married. At one time they were nice to the person who decide to marry them. (Then they stopped trying.) There's a saying, 'A man who opens a restaurant must smile.' If you run a business or are in sales or the media you have to get on well with everybody.

I've read lots of blogs by other women on dating sites. Many of the women talk about what annoys them:

1 Men not reading the woman's profile. No teamwork. No interest in what she wants.

2 A variation on the previous - demands that the woman conforms to what the man wants.

3 Confrontation.

Playing hard to get might work with some people but a mature woman like me appreciates being treasured. By a man who is calm and confident. Happy to have a pleasant evening. Determined to have fun and enjoy himself. No good a man looking for 'fun' with a miserable face. If that makes you laugh, and smile and nod, then you are my sort of person.  

Assuming you've got past he email stage to speaking on the phone and discussing arranging a date. He might ask, 'What if we don't like each other?' 

There are some funny replies I could make. Such as: 

a) You've got to be better than the man I married. 

b) How could I not like you? You are such a nice person. 

c) You must be better than the last three I met.  

(a) The one whose fiancee had committed suicide. He was so miserable, I wasn't surprised.  

(b) The man who told me he had just enough money to get by - after we'd ordered a three course meal. I spent the whole of dinner worrying whether he would pay and if he would starve for a month. Fortunately food was included in his live in job at a public school (private school to readers in the USA)  

(c) The man who was a singer, which sounded jolly, except he never spoke above a whisper. We sat in a place with loud music. He thought I was going deaf. I thought he need assertiveness training.  

They all kept me mesmerized all evening. Somehow they weren't happy and confident enough to reach a second date.  

Worrying about short term or long term is a waste of time. Why worry about whether we could get on long term? If we really get on well, we'll work it out.  

If we can't get through a conversation on the phone, we won't get to a date, never mind more. As for the negatives, people can be like Romeo and Juliet, battle on despite the whole world being against them.  

So, how about the man who asks, 'What if we don't like each other?' We might not like each other, but we both have enough experience and wit and good will to be entertaining. We should be appreciative of somebody who has faced the uncertainty and stress of the meeting, and the time and trouble to get to the meeting place. They have cleared their evening, allocated time, made an effort.  

I have doubts if I hear too many fears. 'What if we don't like each other?' Sounds like this person is going to take a look at you and walk out. Sounds like many people would take a look at the speaker and walk out.  

On the other hand, I am a bit wary about 'I'm in love with you already!' That sounds like the other person is unrealistic and will find I don't match their expectations.  

I like a calm, confident, happy, realistic optimistic. Everybody likes me. I like everybody I meet. I always have an interesting time. But I have a much better time if I stick to people who are determined to have a great time. I think you will, too.

And make sure you give the other person the impression that you will be fun to be with.