Why Tall & Short People Like Each Other

Now I can answer the question 'What Are You Looking For?' in a new way. I am looking for people who make me feel at ease. Short people.

But I am also looking for people who excite me. Tall people.

The Psychology of Short People
We shorties have what I call the 'Little Napoleon' complex.

The owner of a hotel group was the same. I went to a press do and when he took the microphone I thought, why did anybody pick that little guy to do PR? Then I realized he was the man who ran the whole show. Small man, big hotels.

Small People - Big Fish In Small Pools
Small people are water people too. When you are swimming you are horizontal.
Tall people are simply space-consuming in a swimming pool. You can cram in more of the shorties.

I hadn't realized I have height in common with many of my later life friends. We literally see eye-to-eye.

Small Women And Tall Men
When I was a teenager I was turned on, excited, by men over six foot tall. They made me feel protected.

Thrilling Dominating Tall People
Tall people made me feel vulnerable and slightly nervous. They generated the same sort of excitement liked by the people who watch high wire circus acts and magicians throwing knives.

Those who want to participate go for sinister-looking role-play games on bondage sites with medieval dungeons and knives which look unnervingly dangerous. But the players themselves often claim such scenes are harmless fun.

The onlooker sees pairs of contrasting characters. Tall and short. They might also be old and young or black and white. For a stage act it gets attention. Sometimes getting the attention of outsiders is part of the deal.

Or public notice could be the downside, a revelation of one's secret thoughts, hopes, fears. A tall husband with a small wife could be attempting to compensate, to have children nearer the average. Or to make everyday life easier. He could be a gentle giant, helping her reach high shelves and carry heavy shopping.

They might have chosen each other despite the differences. Or because of them. As the French say, Vive la difference.

Thrill-seeking
Now I can see what they are seeking. It's known as thrill-seeking. Same feeling generated on bigger dippers and theme park rides.

Just enough danger to send adrenalin pumping through you and get the blood circulating to all the vital parts. Wakes you up when you were bored and lethargic.

How Tall Are You
Whenever I see a very tall person, I stop them to ask how tall they are. I don't expect them to be annoyed. I expect them to feel flattered.

I have noticed them. They stand out from the crowd. They may not have chosen to be or look tall. They may look taller than they really are because of being slim, or wearing heeled shoes. I am admiring, envious, of them because they have a quality I don't have. They must know this.

I am playing at being vulnerable little girl. I am like a toddler again, in a world of taller adults.

At first I was always gushing with excitement and admiration. The tall person, sometimes overwhelmed by my admiration, either by accident or design, quelled my over-admiration by describing the downside to being tall. Hitting your head on doorways. Having difficulty finding big clothes and shoes and furniture.

After a conversation with a tall person who turned the discussion in that direction, on the next occasion I followed the same pattern. I ended by asking if there were any difficulties they faced and how they solved them.

I am elevating them to tall parent. Even when I am asking them about their problems, do they have trouble with low doors and short beds, I am still sympathizing with them and putting myself in their position, seeing things from their point of view.

But I am also revealing low-level (unintended pun there) jealousy and envy. Showing that my thought process is: 'He or she has height I never had; but I mustn't be miserable and feel disadvantaged because being tall is not always an advantage.

I'm not an ill-wisher, like people casting the evil eye. I am smiling and singling them our for attention.

If it's a chat to a tall waiter or waitress, yet the conversation moves to the disadvatages of being tall, I have also signalled to my smaller dining partner, 'Don't worry, dear. We shorties are just fine. No need to be any taller. It would create as many problems as it solves.

'You are tall enough for me, partner. And I am tall enough for you.'

Yes, I am looking for tall people and short people. I am looking to see the good in everybody.