Seek Fame, Retire Early, and Have Harmony

Over lunch with my new man, I say that I'd like to be a famous writer, like JK Rowling.

Every day my computer inbox is full of motivational talks. They say, if you can dream it, you can do it.

They also tell you to seek out people who encourage you to fulfil your desires.

But top priority for me is the man of my dreams. Actually, I'm quite realistic. I want companionship.

My date says he has no desire to be a celebrity. He'd rather retire early and work or teach what he likes for nothing.

Does it matter what we say?

Do I really have to watch every word, censor what I say, in case our dreams don't match?
Should I follow the advice lines?

No. That's like following religion and politics. I'm a firm believer in putting people before any abstract concept. The family or friend is always more important than a guru.

The guru only comes in when things are going wrong and you need an outsider to sort out the mess.

My friend hasn't told me that it's stupid of me to want to be famous. He hasn't told me that my being a teacher is more worthwhile than being a TV personality.

He is has told me what he wants to be. Implied criticism? Implied lack of harmony. Attempt to subtly change me?

Or is he simply drifting off into the 'Me, too ...' train of thought?

But I still wonder whether I should demand a supportive friend who assures me, 'I'm sure you'll be rich/famous/whatever,' because he knows that's what I'd like to hear?

But often the people who support your dreams are also dreamers, who won't actually ever help you, just smile.

My son says the quickest way to get anything done is to leave behind people who are retired or unemployed, and join a successful company where you are surrounded by people who get things done.

But I want to stay at home and do desktop publishing and take long lunches with friends when I feel like it.

My old mentor used to say to me, impatiently, 'You think too much!'

Now, there's a thought.

What do you think?