More On Mind Games

Somebody says 'no mind games'. Another says, 'no head games'. What do they mean?
Do they mean not 'playing hard to get'?
Or no drama?

Or say what you mean and mean what you say?

Or do they mean they want a one night stand with no conversation? No wit? No repartee? No humour?

No manipulation? Not saying something when you mean another? Not saying nothing when you have a hidden agenda?

Lots of humorous pop psychology books have been written to illustrate the mind set of men and women.

The basics are well known. Women in their thirties know that they should have children before their forties so they want to get married.

So you should be honest?

No. You can't tell a man you want to get married on the first date. Unless you live in a culture where you have arranged marriage and all single women are escorted.

We then come down to What's In It For Me?

Lots of male's profiles tell you what they are looking for. Sex and more sex.

Like a shop which tells you prices. Yes, the customer wants to know prices. But does the customer want to hear, 'We want your money'.

Marketing is a mind game. PR is a mind game. Politeness is a mind game. Tact is a mind game. A blog is a mind game.

One spends a great deal of time trying to understand other people's mind games. Everybody from the sales person to the server in the restaurant to the politician.

Yes, it is so much easier when people say what they mean. But we all know people who are rude, aggressive, selfish, kids throwing tantrums to get their own way.

Civilization is knowing your own group's mind games. Getting married is a mind game. Buying a house is a mind game. Getting a job is a mind game. Getting paid is a mind game.

Every parent has to play mind games. You can tell a kid, 'Eat your dinner!' but he won't. You can sit all day waiting for him to eat his dinner.

To get served, to get to the head of the line in a shop or a restaurant or at an airport or attraction, involves a mind game somewhere. Life is simpler if we have simple rules and stick to them.

But it only works when one person wants to hear what the other person needs. And is ready to supply it.

Putting up sign which says 'Please wait to be seated' is a mind game. The restaurant wants to control the customers.

Every speech and book is a mind game. Getting somebody else into bed is a mind game. Keeping them in bed is a mind game. Enjoying being in bed together is a mind game. Getting somebody out of your bed is a mind game.

By saying NO mind games, you are setting the other person up to play mind games. By being negative, you are warning them to be careful when dealing with you.

A negative command is often remembered as a positive command. That's why a major chocolate bar is being promoted with the slogan, 'Girls should not eat ...' Firstly, the negative will be forgotten.

Secondly, some people have inbuilt resistance. When you tell them to do something, they immediately want to do the opposite. Call it what you like, forbidden fruit, naughtiness, testing limits, being bolshie, defiance.

What do you mean by mind games?