How To Improve Your Profile And Increase Responses

How do you improve your profile and increase responses?

[B]I like to write happy positive posts. But since a man has actually asked why he does not get responses I feel you would be interested in knowing my response and hearing some answers which could be helpful in showing how some women think which might echo your own feelings or spark off your own different ideas.

In a previous post on another blog site, a reader asked how he could get more responses. I looked at his profile and noticed the following things:

1 A typo in the profile. The word parents was jumbled. Easy to correct that with the spell checker. You don't need a PhD to click on the little ABC sign.

2 He starts by describing himself as average.
Average is not a selling point. Would a sales person tell you a product is average? He must think it's a selling point. In that case be more specific.

3 Then he goes on to talk about outdoor sex, shackles and blindfolds. A woman who has just joined an adult site might be scared off. An average woman looking for an average man might not want to be shackled by a stranger.

Shackles might appeal to somebody on a site where a large proportion of readers are seeking bondage. But fewer will be interested on an adult site. Okay, mention the shackles, but make it clear they are an option, not an obligation.

4 He also describes a woman making sexual advances ON THE FIRST DATE.

He is limiting himself to nymphomaniacs and women who have been on the site less than a month.

Any woman who has responded to this sort of profile previously, men wanting sex on the first date, has suffered from embarrassing conversations in public places and been groped on one occasion by at least one man, maybe on four or more occasions by four or more men, one of whom, maybe several of whom, she didn't like.

He needs to make it plain that sex on the first date is not obligatory. Otherwise she is worried that:

a) He will go too fast. It could be repulsive or embarrassing if she says no.

b) He might turn nasty if she says no.

c) He might be disappointed. He will look glum. Or end the date fast making her feel rejected.[/B]


The rest of this post is copied from my comment on a specific reader’s comment on my post.)

I can suggest several ways in which you could make small improvements to your presentation:

1 In your photo, folded arms is a keep away gesture. Retake the photo with arms by your side or holding something such as a book or newspaper or piece of sports equipment - but this might attract those who like your sport and repel those who don't so more neutral is just a pen or computer which is acceptable to everybody.

2 Smile. A welcoming, happy smile. If I meet you in a restaurant and you are unsmiling with arms folded my first thought is, this guy doesn't like me. Show that I will be meeting somebody happy who will put me at ease.

3 Arms look huge in the picture, larger than head. I love a red sleeveless top but focus should be on head, not arms. Maybe try an outfit with sleeves. Stick to red. The red is great.

4 Viewpoint is from down below, as if the viewer is subservient or about to perform a blow job. Put the camera higher, so the onlooker meeting you for the first time is face-to-face. Much friendlier.

5 Fringe is untidy and spiky. Wash hair and comb it so it looks neat and soft and clean.

6 Eyes look white and slightly ghoulish. Are you wearing glasses reflecting the light or what? I want to see the pupils of the eyes, smiling eyes.

7 Background is plain which is good. But something more classy would be better, perhaps outdoors, since a simple white door suggests you live in a prison or trailer.

What does the photo suggest the reader gets on first date? A shut, possibly locked, white door? With you standing against it, blocking her exit?

Maybe the lady would prefer a romantic waterfall or restaurant. If you like walks on the beach, take a photo of yourself on a beach and you will attract somebody who fancies walks on a beach. They immediately know something about you from the photo - a guy who likes walks on the beach.
8 You are ahead of most people because you can construct a sentence. But since you have an above average education and attention to detail, you are able to get it 100% right and create a good impression.

So, use the spell checker. For example, in your comment the word woman has a typo and is wopman. First sentence of second paragraph reads ‘I like ot’ instead of ‘like to’. Makes the reader struggle to understand. Spellchecker would have caught that.

You use the word nice three times and you could change it to something more specific and use three positive words such as ‘their profiles are attractive’, ‘an appealing picture’, ‘a friendly smile’.

The last sentence has a punctuation error. The word ‘lets’ should be ‘let's’ for let us.

I can't guarantee that any one or all of these changes could move you up, but an improvement in grammar could influence a person to shift you onto their shortlist, either as a conscious decision, or an unconscious decision. Since you asked, it's worth a try.

9 What makes you an individual? When you go for a walk on the beach what will you talk about?

10 Women often want to be the only one in your life. Addressing the reader as 'ladies' suggests you are looking for more than one woman, whereas if you talk about 'you' I would feel we are already a twosome, a couple in a conversation.

11 Keep sounding happy, or at least end each sentence and paragraph cheerfully. I just changed that sentence to end with the word cheerfully.

Your first paragraph ends on a negative note, whilst the second one ends on a positive note. You can turn sentences around so the negative is in the first half and you put the good point at the end to leave with the impression that you are upbeat.

12 Somebody told me that most men are looking for sex whilst most women are looking for a long -term relationship. This means solvent.

And not rushing into sex immediately. On a first date I don't actually want orgasms and walks on the beach (everybody man on here is looking for sex and the idea of a beach suggests he's looking for sex and a cheap date?). I want a meal in a restaurant.

Maybe that's just me, but I think that before we get to that remote, romantic beach, we need to meet in a safe public place with a crowd of jolly people to lift our mood.

You've got a sentence ending ‘dinner and conversation’. Switch those last two sentences and don't end with ‘doubt’ but with ‘dinner’.

13 When you write a comment, you might get responses from several women. But the person most likely to reply is the person who posted. So pick lots of posts by women in your area and send at least one comment which addresses them specifically by name, just as I have addressed my readers personally.

Opening a letter or email 'hi' without my name, without any form of address, does not start the right way for me.

If the profile nickname doesn't sound right as a form of address (Dear Here4U sounds odd), use part of the name (Dear ‘U’), or an endearment. I would respond more to Hello, my darling, or Dear Angel.

I hope this gives you the confidence to try again with enthusiasm.
To other readers, I trust this will interest you, too, and I'd like to hear from you, as I'm sure so would ‘David’, the man who wrote.