What he should do to prepare the home for my arrival? What will the lady, the princess, see when she arrives. (This applies equally when preparing for any VIP visitor.)
Stand outside the door like a vacuum cleaner sales person assessing whether the home owner is solvent and houseproud. First impression of your home?
1 CLEAR AND CLEAN OUTSIDE
Can the bell be heard? Are the door and handle and step clean? And the windows? And curtains? Flowerbeds neat? No litter? Clean car outside?
If it's late at night, put on the light over the door. I once turned and ran when I saw my date's front door was behind bushes in a dark side alley. You don't want to scare her into thinking she's entering the 'house of horrors'.
2 DE-CLUTTER INSIDE
Now, indoors. Clear floors, work surfaces, doorways and windows.
Put boots, trainers, shoes and slippers together against the wall, not lying around untidily to trip you up.
Chuck out old newspapers. If you must save them to cover surfaces for DIY, put them in a plastic bag in the garage.
3 HIDE RIVALS
Remove photos of family, especially wife or ex-wife, and ex-girlfriends.
And ancestors watching you.
Animal items on kitchen floor should be moved aside.
4 DUST BUST
Dust off surfaces. Is the kitchen clean for her to make coffee? Put coffee cups and saucers and coffee and sugar by the kettle. You don't want her opening cupboards discovering clutter and other secrets. Nor do you want to be spending hours hunting for the matching cup and saucer you bought last week and ending up handing her the chipped cup.
5 STOCK FRIDGE
Is the milk fresh? Have you got sweetener? Juice? Mineral water? Fruit? Protein? Your visitor might have travelled a distance, or set off without eating because of nerves and might now be hungry.
Healthy nibbles such as nuts?
6 CLEAR DUST & DIY RUBBLE
I was once at the filthy flat of a boyfriend. I wrote my name in the dust in every room before I left. That way the next person in would notice the dust and see he had a girlfriend. I reckoned he'd have to dust or suffer the embarrassment.
Worst place was the new home of the gorgeous mature man, recently divorced. He had such a dirty kitchen that I spent ten minutes cleaning the floor and work surfaces before making coffee.
The bath was impossible to use - full of rubble. I had to clean off the taps and basin. Also the toilet seat. Finally I washed the grubby toothpaste I borrowed.
7 CREATE SOFT LIGHTING
No glare. Make sure you have a shade on every light bulb. If you've just moved in, take her shopping to advise.
8 MAKE A WELCOMING LIVING ROOM
Clear floors, tables, side tables and seats.
Choose mood music CDs.
Close curtains and turn on table lamps.
9 ELIMINATE ANIMAL SMELLS
Worst smells are from a household of cats. Your best date will be with another cat lover.
If you have an adorable dog which jumps on visitors and knocks them to the floor, perhaps Rover should not be roving but sit eating his food in a back room until your visitor asks to meet him. Then keep him on a lead for the introduction until you are sure your date likes dogs.
Change clothes which have had animals all over them. No point wearing a clean shirt and a jacket or coat which reeks of smoke and dogs. Check shoes which have walked through mud and more.
10 FIX FOOD SMELLS
You might not notice the smell. Until you come back from holiday. Open all windows.
Empty all bins. Remove stale food, especially rotting fruit from fruit bowls and fridges.
You can spray with air freshener. Cut flowers or ferns from the garden or supermarket or garden centre (ask for flowers with scent).
Ah - but she might be allergic to pollen. If she's going to sneeze for three months of the year, or demand to live on snow-capped mountains in winder and in the desert in summer, it might be a good idea to find out early. If she's a hayfever sufferer and you're a nurturer, you could buy her a couple of products to help.
A bowl of scented leaves will be available in gift shops or big stores. Wear aftershave.
FEEDBACK PLEASE
Have I forgotten anything? Any other suggestions?
Is this what you would do anyway? Does it seem like a lot of trouble? Only for special people? Just what you would do for any visitor?
For articles, blogs and books giving advice on dating, contact Angelalansbury@hotmail.com
I can also assess your appearance, voice, and confidence, to do a personal makeover, if you are dating or going for job interviews.
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