POSITIVE WRITING RULES

POSITIVE WRITING RULES

Ideally you should be entirely positive.

If you must include a negative, at least end on a positive. With practise you can learn to speak, think and feel positive all the time. So your words, thoughts, gestures and facial expressions are all positive.

 

So maybe we should stick to three rules in an email or date

Don’t say

a) ‘I have no money’

‘If you are x, move on’ (First half of that sentence says I’m a loser and a victim and a failure on this site or in the dating game. The second half of the sentence is an aggressive, belligerent statement - is this how you will behave when you end a relationship - telling the other person to go, get lost, rather than thanking them for their time and wishing them well.)

‘I am physically/mentally disabled and if you can’t deal with that ....’

Focus on the positive contribution of both partners in the relationship - I am in a wheelchair but still take part in sports and look after a business and I am looking for a loving kind person, perhaps in the nursing profession - or somebody who always wanted to be a nurse

There is a simple way to summarise this conversational over-revelation - Too Much Information.

If you are gregarious or lonely or feel it would be a good tactic to increase your options and you want to meet more people - of any type, perhaps you should say less in your profile, or fewer negative things, and more positive things.

At first sight you might think that the simple solution is not to talk about personal negatives. Is it okay not to talk about the man who attacked you in the street - only about the awful mugging described in the newspapers last week? 

The dangers are that this encourages negative thoughts, bad memories, and signals ‘let’s talk about disasters’. It can encourage a kind of victim one-downmanships. I met somebody worse than that, my medical problems are worse than yours -

If you want to find the worst about somebody else’s life straight away, okay. If I were just gathering stories for a novel, or ideas for a joke or humorous speech, that would be amusing as a one-off date. But for my dates, or for me, to do this regularly would not lead to happy evenings dating nor a long-term relationship.

The solution for better self-image and PR and prospects imagining a successful and co-operative relationship:

Focus on your successes - not on one-up manship, not on changing somebody else’s dire life, but on being initially a source of pleasure and eventually a team player.

How do you ingratiate yourself when you meet somebody and have a one minute speech?

Balance my worst holiday with my best holiday. Don’t talk about why I hate one race, religion or nationality or city, but what I like about my country, your country, my religion, your religion, what we have in common. 

-ends-