Attention-getting humour - how much is too much?

I have read several profiles of men which are negative, occasionally humorous, but you are left wondering whether they are ranting or humorous or just plain weird. 

They start:

'I am not a millionaire who ... I have three yachts and two heads.

or

'I am a millionaire who - only joking. Actually I am unemployed.'

or 

'I do not play with dolphins and ride into sunsets.'

or  

'Two elephants met on a dating site and ...' 

or 

'I like sunsets with yellow dots. My hand wanders over the mouse and ...' 

One ended with, 'I hope you appreciate my humour'. 

I didn't. I wondered what he was high on. Or would he sit grumbling about the world? Or would he start verbally attacking his date for her conventional or outlandish clothes and expectations? 

A man who calls himself your dinner date or your ideal man may be boasting. But that is what a woman is looking for. 

If he calls himself Mr Wild, Mr Nasty or Mr Fed Up, or says the site is a waste of time he sounds like a loser. At best he may be somebody who has no enthusiasm and joy in inviting the female reader out to dinner.

By all means include the odd - yes, even odd, remark. Maybe you think that you cannot mix humour and serious sentences without making the serious ones sounds insincere and the humorous ones too unexpected. Then put the serious stuff in another paragraph. But make sure at least half your profile or email is sensible. Finish on an invitation to action. 

At least say something like, 'If you find my humour amusing, write back and we could have an evening of banter together.' 

But if you just end with only one sentence, the reader is left wondering if it will be an entire evening of monologue humour. Will she meet somebody incapable of coping with life? What sort of job can they hold down if they cannot give a straight answer to a question? 

Here are my thoughts on one profile and email:

This does not sound like an invitation to a dinner date or a relationship. It is not an invitation to conversation, more a monologue. A profile and email consisting entirely of offbeat jokes is unnerving first thing in the morning when one is at work and hoping for a sensible letter like a CV telling you the other person's good qualities and what you can easily do to satisfy their criteria. Nothing but humour sounds as if the other person is high and in a world of their own, rather than interested in the reader and matching the reader.

As a stage performer myself, I read a 'funny' monologue and feel that perhaps we could do a comedy stage act together. But could the writer be relied on to have a sensible conversation about arrangements to turn up on time? 

If your title does not promote yourself, it is not good PR.

Sounds like you are making fun of the site and the reader.

Think what you are offering the reader and what action you wish them to take. 

I was scared of getting involved with a nutter. I decided to write a general blog here instead. 

I would reply to the man who was both cheerful and sensible, in control, happy with himself and the site and life. The one who said he was hopeful, or had met some great people but still looking for more friends and somebody special. I bet a lot of readers would agree with me. 

What do you think? Have you written an offbeat profile? Have you tried two of different tones, to see which got better responses? Have you met somebody who wrote one? Were they better than expected or worse?