Calm and confident - or tense? Look at these situations.

Blog - what I want from a man 

1 Profile - face picture. 

a) Smiling. Confident. 

No beard. 

Ideally not grey. If you want a grey-haired woman stay grey. If you want to date a young-looking blonde, get a bottle of hair dye and be young-looking, too.

2 Profile - no nude pictures. Why? Too much too soon. You are in a public place. Don’t strip off before the world. Have some sense of caution.

3 No nude pictures of other women. I don’t like nude pictures on the wall at my local garage. And I don’t like nude pictures of other women displayed by my date. I don’t want to know about your other conquests or that you are likely to have a one night stand with a nympho who could have VD.

4 Profile, opening e-mail, phone call - Forget the sob stories about your last relationship. Talk about the present or future. 

The story about the girl who jilted you, or committed suicide, is not a great opening. And ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ only makes the listener keen to know what you are hiding. It’s a defence, a retreat. Instead step forward to ask about the other person.

5 Speak positively about yourself and the other person.

If you want to whine about your last relationship, keep a diary.

6 If the journey is a hazard, make sure you move on to the positive aspects. For example, 

a) It was a hassle - but worth it to meet you.

So good to be here, with problems over.

7 Don’t rant about other people - how you hate other nationalities, politics, religion. If the other person disagrees or has family members of the group you are ranting about they will feel uncomfortable. Even if they agree, they don't want to say goodnight and go to bed tense. They would rather end up with good news. You and your conversation should not be a boxing ring, but  the haven of calm.